Principles
Problem solving consists of three steps:
- First Step: Awareness - To become aware that a problem exists. Acknowledge that it is present in your life.
- Second Step: Acceptance - The second step is to begin the process of acceptance. I accept that this is happening in my life and what do I want to do with it.It is in this phase that most of the discovering takes place and with it increased options and choices.
- Third Step: Action - This is the third step and involves putting the results of work, change and discoveries into behaviors.
Inner Tools
Your armamentarium is inside you your thoughts, feelings, images, behaviors and/or actions. There is not any greater knowledge than that of knowing yourself.
Allowance
For this phase of discovery, you need to allow the feeling of fear. Actually say to yourself repeatedly,
"Yes, I am afraid." I feel fearful of (complete this sentence)."
Separate the Fear
It is important to realize the fear you are experiencing is a feeling and not you. You are more than the fear! Say to yourself: "It is okay for me to be afraid - to be fearful."
Do Not Judge Yourself
This is an important step in the acceptance phase. Watch for certain thoughts like: "I am stupid." "No one else is afraid." "I am weak to feel afraid." These are judgements of your feelings and will interfere with your ability to work towards acceptance of the fear.
Perceptions
How you perceive your life experiences is a key factor in determining how these experiences will affect you. Once you become aware of your own perceptions of the fear you can choose to see it differently which will create choice for you.
Breath
Breathing is an important tool in accessing feelings, experiencing the fullness of feelings, and decreasing and controlling anxiety and fears. Breath is also important in maintaining wellness and the prevention of disease. When we are anxious and/or fearful, breath is restricted and becomes more shallow and rapid.
Relaxation
Relaxation is another key to decreasing and controlling anxiety and fear and is closely connected to breath. It creates an internal space inside of you that increases control over your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors giving freedom to inform choices, changes in perception, increased healing and a feeling of well being.
Anxiety/Fear/Phobia Cycle
All of the above principles will assist you in gaining more control over your fear and/or trauma, acknowledging the feeling, creating a new positive experience, reframing, and learning how to relax.
If at any time during the process of walking through the steps you feel the cycle is getting complicated and are more anxious, let this be a guide for you to seek additional assistance with a qualified professional. These suggestions and information are not a substitute for professional guidance.
Responsibility
This is a summary principle. It is through accepting responsibility that allows all of the above principles to work together. You do not have the "ability to respond" to your anxiety and fear with internal wisdom that is gained through increased awareness of you, resulting in control over your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. This empowered-you then gains control over the "reactive cycle" of the fear and anxiety allowing you more informed choices with the ability to respond to the fear and anxiety rather than you reacting to it.